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Notes On Being Brave While Traveling

brave

Solo contemplation in Jordan

“Excuse me miss, you’re texting really loud. I’m trying to sleep here. Could you keep it down?!” The man next to me on the train bursts into hysterical giggles. I’m assuming he’s drunk or just terrible at flirting, as this is the tenth time he’s made the joke. I force a smile but can’t help but huff and roll my eyes, annoyed at being distracted from my work, a story on travel apps.

“Okay, let’s try this. Where are you off to?” he asks, making a more mature attempt at getting me to speak to him.

“Croatia,” I reply without looking up from my notes.

He bursts into hysterics, “Well, I think you may have gotten on the wrong train. This is New Jersey Transit!”

I roll my eyes again. “I’m going to the airport. Obviously.”

Suddenly he becomes quiet, pinching up like he has something important to ask but doesn’t know if it’s appropriate. I can feel his anxious stare so intensely I can no longer concentrate on smartphones and digital payments, and throw my cell phone in defeat.

“I give up. Yes??” I ask exasperatedly.

“I just… I’m a little concerned. Is someone meeting you at the airport? I feel like a girl shouldn’t be traveling alone in Croatia. Or anywhere, really.”

I smirk. “Luckily I’m a woman, not a girl.”

He shakes his head. “I give you credit. You’re brave.”

This is something I’ve had people tell me before, but it always makes me feel weird. Am I brave? Me, who burst into shrieks at 3am the other night when a hanging jacket transformed into a monster after watching too much American Horror Story? Who called her ex-boyfriend crying while clutching a spray bottle of Raid when a centipede was in her shower? Who slept with a nightlight on until she was 16?

I don’t consider myself brave.

brave

Me, canyoning in Jordan. Photo courtesy of World Wide Nate.

Although, I guess when you eliminate situations involving large bugs and ghosts — and running out of wine (scary stuff!) — I can be what people call brave. To me, it’s not that I’m unafraid to travel solo, jump out of airplanes and talk to strangers, it’s that I don’t let fear stop me. To me, being afraid of something isn’t a reason to not do something; in fact, it’s often more of a reason to do something.

Some of my greatest trip memories grew out of doing things that excited yet scared me — like backpacking South America solo for four months. Family and friends tried to talk me out of it, and by the time they were done lecturing me on the dangers of being a solo female in Latin America, I fully believed my liver would be sold on the black market during the trip.

But I returned, liver-in-tact. More than that: I returned transformed. My confidence in myself to navigate foreign situations had grown, my view on the world was altered as I spent time with locals, my arsenal of travel tales expanding with every bus ride and border crossing.

I’ve also gotten into downright scary situations on the road that I’ve managed to get myself out of, like being chased by angry dogs while hiking and almost being robbed in Rio. Would I have loved a partner to help me out? Of course. But I didn’t have one, and so I learned to rely on myself and the skills and smarts I’ve acquired in my 28 years of life.

At this point, I’ve had numerous solo travel adventures. And while I still get some butterflies each time,
I’m confident enough in myself to never be truly afraid.

The same goes for heights. I absolutely love anything that involves dangling in mid-air or falling from the sky. That being said, just ask my friend Kait how much I cried and hyperventilated at the age of 20, doing my first bungee experience in Cairns, Australia. I was legitimately terrified. But I never let fear stop me from sky diving, bungee jumping, hot air ballooning, zip-lining and canyoning, and now this fear has turned into excitement.

While I think there are certain people more inclined to possess the quality of bravery, such as those with intense curiosities, I think it’s possible for anyone willing to face their fears, stand up to society, choose their own path, follow their journey no matter the cost and believe in their own abilities has the chance to be brave.

What are your thoughts on travel and being brave? Please share in the comments below.

Also Check Out:

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9 Comments

  1. Rory on April 13, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Well said and so true… The best way to live life is to face the fears that limit you. This is how we can truly live free and grow and traveling solo is a great way to go down that path! Awesome post:)

    • jess2716 on April 14, 2015 at 11:47 am

      @Rory: Thank you for the kind words. Keep traveling and facing those fears! 🙂

  2. val on April 13, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    LOVE this! and your perspective! Everyone thought I was crazy when I decided to backpack from Cape Town to Cairo by myself. It was the best 7 months of my life and I felt incredibly safe! It always seems scary until you go I guess. Keep up the traveling and the sharing 🙂

    • jess2716 on April 14, 2015 at 11:47 am

      @Val: Backpacking from Cape Town to Cairo? Wow, that sounds amazing. Thank you for sharing and for the kind words!

  3. Stef on April 13, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    I agree with your opinion. So often I hear the same words. You’re so brave traveling alone. But I don’t consider myself like this. I’m scared, I am sensible and cry easily. The difference is, I do it anyway, because it’s my dream and it’s what I want to do. I wrote something similar a couple of weeks ago, if you’re interested: http://bit.ly/1nuyCni

    • jess2716 on April 14, 2015 at 11:46 am

      @Stef: Love the post! Good stuff. I feel exactly the same way. Hell, last night I cried hysterical because there was a big bug in my tub and had to ask a friend to come over to get rid of it. I was TERRIFIED. I’d rather travel alone any day! ha

      • Stef on April 15, 2015 at 6:03 pm

        Just read this quote and had to think of your post again:
        “And one has to understand that braveness is not the absence of fear but rather the strength to keep on going forward despite the fear.”
        ― Paulo Coelho

  4. Ashlea Wheeler on April 14, 2015 at 12:04 am

    Yes! Travel makes you so much more confident in yourself. Even if you don’t think you are brave, facing your fears makes you realise you can do absolutely anything!

    • jess2716 on April 14, 2015 at 11:45 am

      @Ashlea: It’s really true what they say about facing your fears and conquering them. It works!

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